Halloween

This picture turned out kinda freaky. We kept playing with the flash to try and get it just right. He had fun scaring all the teenagers and parents out there. We had a family look at our porch and walked right on by (they had small kids). I ran and gave them some candy cuz I felt bad. Justin had a lady who saw him and ran home and get her kids to show them. He created a lot ofbuzz. He had a lot of fun and lives for Halloween!

Devon, Justin's cousin who is living with us, and the kids.

Brooklyn, the beautiful tulip fairy! She looked so pretty! She loved having makeup on too.

Justin did his pumpkin same as last year, but was a big hit. It's the one throwing up. Last year when we took a picture like this two days before Halloween, I went into labor with Colton a couple hours later!

You can't really see my costume, I was a renaissance lady. First time I've dressed up in years. I had a lot of fun.

I helped in Brooklyn's classromm for their Halloween party. I was in charge of the treat. I had them frost cookies and put candy and sprinkles on. They sure know how to make a mess! They all had so much fun and were so hyper!

Justin took pride in decorating our front porch. He even put in black lights and had scary Halloween music and sounds playing all night

There she is! She was so excited to see us! She was the last class of the entire school parade

We were waiting at Brooklyn's school for her to come in the cafeteria in the Halloween parade. Colton was having fun with Grandma.

I took the boys into Grandma Adele's work for lunch and trick or treating on Thursday. Wyatt hauled in on the treats for sure!

Colton's Birthday

So cute! He loved opening the presents

Colette was helping!

He just wanted to eat the wrapping paper. So funny









Ok I thought I would be brave and post this pic of me and the kids at the hospital. Check out the IV pole and how many machines it took to keep the meds going. I think two are cut off on the left too.

Great Day

I love posting that I had a great day! It's been so nice to have the kids all to myself today. They have gotten lots of extra hugs and kisses today! I did squeeze in a little nap this afternoon while Colton was sleeping and I put Wyatt next to me watching cartoons. I feel pretty good though. Nice to feel that way and nice to say it.
My blood test on Monday came back and they kept me on the same antibiotic, which means it is working. That's probably why I am feeling better too.
Tonight we went and got a few Halloween decorations and pumpkins so we can carve them hopefully Friday afternoon. Justin should be home early afternoon, so we should hopefully have time. It will be a busy day. I will be going to Brooklyn's school for the parade and then helping in her classroom for their party in the afternoon. I was put in charge of the treat (I offered to help). I am excited. We got a bunch of the cookie decorations tonight too. Then Justin's work is doing a trick or treat and then of course trick or treating at home. Justin will be on the porch scaring all the kids wearing a Michael Myers costume (sorry in advance if you live in our neighborhood!)
He even bought black lights for the porch! Don't worry, he takes off the mask for the little kids so they aren't scared.
It will be a good week, I can already feel it!

I am starting to feel a lot better. No more nausea which is awesome. I am still feeling a bit out of sorts in my head, but it is getting clearer. I had a blood draw this morning to see how my staff infection is doing. I should find out tonight if my dose changes and where it's at.
This week is going to be kinda busy, so I might not post as many blogs. If I'm not posting blogs, it's probably a good sign that I am busy with life and with the kids. I'm sure I'll be posting pictures of the kids for Halloween and Colton's birthday which is on Thursday.
I know many have worried this past week when I haven't posted that something is wrong. It was probably that I was tired or just was glad to be home and enjoying the kids.
I am so grateful for all the prayers again this past week and that I am now home and can feel better and enjoy life for the next 9-10 weeks. Thank you!

Came Home Early

I got to come home yesterday. They decided not to give me the last dose because of the heart palpitations and because I was developing a cough from the fluid in my lungs. The cough was constricting my airway and making it hard to breathe.I ended up only getting four doses. So when I got home, I started getting a very familiar headache (same as last week). We thought if we hurried and set me up on IV fluids, it would go away. Last week we thought all the symptoms I had were due to dehydration. I'm not so sure now. We tried to get me some nausea medication quickly, knowing me. As we were hooking it up and about to put some in my line, I threw up. We battled getting enough medication and throwing up seven times by the time we got it right. I also had a home health nurse there trying to help us figure out why I was throwing up so much. He couldn't figure it out. I remember throwing up 3 times while he was here. Finally we got some antinausea without pain meds to just put me to sleep. Who cares about a migraine when you can't take anything, right?
I woke up a lot in the night to go potty and with my head hurting. I didn't dare take anything for fear of throwing up again (or dry heaving). I gained a total of 20 pounds this time, but I won't take any Lasiks until I know I have enough fluids and I am at least eating and drinking. I think that was part of the reason I was up so much last night, my body was naturally starting to get rid of the extra water weight.
This morning I felt a bit better. I am still very weak and can't do much. I am on my second IV just so the dehydration doesn't happen again, I already did an antibiotic for two hours this morning for my staff infection, too. That will be twice a day until Nov. 4th.
I will say that it is so nice to be back in my own bed and at least home with my kids. They seem really content having me here.

Might be going home, might not.

Last night I got my fourth dose. My heart started having some weird palpitations, beating really fast and really irregularly.It felt like my heart was going to come out of my chest. This morning they told me I won't be having any more IL-II doses today. To me that was kind of a relief. I have had a pretty good day. Although for my visitors this morning I felt bad for my visitors because I had Phenergrine for nausea that knocked me out cold. After that wore off, I had a good day. I felt pretty with it. Yesterday I had some blood drawn and it showed I have a Staff Infection in my central line. I will come home with my line still in to take antibiotics for it. To me it sounds better to take it out and then clear it up. Oh well they know what they are doing.
This week has been a harder week until today. My doctor told me that every dose gets stronger and stronger. No wonder I've been sicker this week. I've barely even wanted to look at a computer.
The kids have been sick throwing up this week which makes it worse for me. I just want to be home with them. Brooklyn broke down at school while they were reading. She missed her mom. This made me cry when I heard about it. Wyatt has called alot because he misses me.
We are so grateful for the outpouring of support in our behalf. It has been overwhelming for Justin and Devon to try and figure out times and when you can help. I think once I am home I will be able to accept meals and cleaning.
Thanks to everyone for everything you have done! Love to all.

This week is rough

I kinda thought it would be easier this week since I already knew what to expect. So far it has been hard. On Monday I got my first dose at about 5:30 and by six thirty I was having fever, chills and bodyaches. I stayed up the majority of the night like that. I slept a bit of Tuesday, but for most of Tuesday I was naseaus and sick to my stomach. I finally slept most of the night last night. My parents came in to visit last nigh and my aunt Jeanne anf Justin came to see me too.
Yesterday was kind of a blur. I don't remember much.
This morning they got me up at 5 to give me meds and to weigh me, I'm up six pounds already. I didn't get a dose last night, but got one at ten this morning (my third dose). I am feeling ok so far today. I got a shower this morning, and now I am missing my family so much. I keep crying a lot. My kids will be coming in this afternoon. I can't wait

Good Weekend

It's been nice to have some of my energy back this weekend. I did tire out quickly with some of my normal daily routines. Just in time to have some energy just to have it zapped again starting tomorrow. I spent the night at my parents celebrating my mom's 50th birthday (she won't appreciate me writing that, I'm sure) and Colton's first birthday which is on the 30th. I admit it was really nice to see family tonight.
I'll admit I am a bit depressed having to go back to the hospital again so soon, but the sooner I finish this week the sooner I'll have all my energy back. I am again worried about my kids, though I know they will be well taken care of, it's not me. I know I will miss them so much.
I will try to keep my blog updated as I go this week for my treatment. Let's hope it goes as well this week as it did the last time.

I am feeling a lot better now, just get tired pretty quickly. I promised Joan from Huntsman I would drink and eat more this week to get my strength up for Monday. She's been checking up on me the last couple of days. Last night was so nice, I slept the entire night! Brooklyn is out of school till Tuesday and we all slept in till 9:30! I was so excited for sleep. The only problem I am still having is that darn low grade fever. Other than that, just my energy levels.
I've lost all but the last two pounds of the water weight I gained. I still can't believe I could gain 21 pounds in 5 days! Let's just say my skin is paying for it! Very dry.
It is so nice to have my mind and head straight again. It felt like I was in a fog for so long. There was so many parts of the hospital I couldn't remember until the last couple days. Even visits from family and friends were very blurry. It was very strange, dreamlike.
Tonight I am planning on having fun at Bunco, a game I play with 11 other women and have a blast doing it! I hope I have the energy! I'm sure I'll run on adrenaline or something like that. Costumes are optional tonight too! We'll see.

Yesterday started out ok, but I was so tired from not sleeping much. Luckily Adele (my mom in law) came over and helped. As the afternoon came, I got more and more nauseous and couldn't eat or drink. We decided I was extremely dehydrated and needed IV fluids. I've dropped 15 pounds of the water weight I gained in the hospital, too, which I think made the dehydration and nausea worse. So, by about 9 last night we had a homehealth nurse come out and show us how to hook up an IV to a central line. It didn't seem too difficult. I got IV fluids and as soon as Justin gave me Phenergine for nausea, I was out in seconds. I slept till about six thirty this morning and woke with a fever of 99. Took some ibuprofen and went back to sleep till eight thirty. So, today I am feeling pretty good, so far. Yesterday started good too, so I am hoping it keeps up this time.

A Night in the Emergency Room

So I came home yesterday and was a bit dizzy all day. We went and picked up prescriptions and came home to rest. I took a small nap. When I tried to go to sleep last night I couldn't. I had a headache all day that ibuprofen didn't even touch. As it got later I tried a Lortab 10. Strong, right? Barely worked for like 20 minutes. I ended up nauseas and running from bed and throwing up. I threw up the only food I'd eaten all day because the sores in my mouth were too bad to eat. I had taken new meds and threw all that up too. So, come two in the morning after trying to sleep on the couch, so I could breathe because of the fluid in my lungs, I woke up gasping for air and having a panic attack. I had several delirious dreams and then the throbbing in my head was so strong and it sounded like water swishing in my head I thought for sure I had extra fluid in my brain because I had extra fluid retaining everywhere else. We called up to Huntsman and talked to the Dr on call and he said to go to the E.R. and they'd probably do a brain scan and admit me. Just what we wanted to hear. The only reason they said it was important to go in was because meds just weren't taking any pain away.
When we showed up to the er, they took me back right away and started asking a lot of questions, which my history takes a while. They asked all the meds I've been on, I had no clue all the drugs I had this last week. I only knew what I'd had through IV. I told him about all the water swelling and one leg looked more swollen than the other, so we did an ultrasound to check for blood clots, a head CT, a chest xray (because of the fluid in my lungs, he wanted to check to see if it is still there. So, long story short, everything was fine, thank heavens. I am still suffering from the headache which we think is my body's reaction to Interlukin.

Coming Home today!

I am excited to come home and lay in my own bed! I feel huge. My weigh in this morning was a total of 21 pounds! I am so gonna die if that doesn't come off! They say it's all water weight and they will send me home with lasics and it should come off in a couple days. I really hope that holds true. The man next to me doing the same procedure has gained about the same. I told Justin this morning and we both had a goof laugh.
They took me off the iv fluids to see if my blood pressure will stay normal, if so all I will have to do is wait for discharge papers and stop by the pharmafy and I'll be out of here!

Friday

So, today was kind of a good and bad day. I had insomnia and was up all night last night. Even with sleeping pills and pain pills and nausea pills. They say is was a side effect of the IL-II. So this morning around six they checked my lungs, which they do several times a day and blood tests. They found fluid in my lungs and a low white blood count, meaning infection somewhere in my body. The fluid built up in my lungs because it is building up everywhere. I am up 15 pounds in fluid retention. It feels so gross.I just feel really bloated.
So, because of those two things they had me do a chest x ray to make sure there was fluid in my lungs. There for sure was. So, they didn't give me my dose of IL-II this morning and stopped it altogether. So I didn't make it as far as I was hoping, but I make it to 11 doses which most barely make it to 9 or 10, plus they couldn't get over how well I dealt with it.
Because my lungs are filled with the fluid puts me at a high risk for pneumonia.
They told me I absolutely can't be around groups of people, so church is out. I think it's a good thing I will be coming home when it's cold and I can just stay home. I had several visitors which I made sure weren't sick. So, I should be coming home tomorrow afternoon and will still be tired. I am so excited for my own bed for sure!

ok, here's a little later Thursday

So, My aunt Jeanne and I are counting how many bags I am getting meds dripped through. There are eight bags, with six dripping. I have six little pumps and 2 big ones that are dripping through the lines. I have IL-II dripping, dextrose dripping, sodium chloride, norepinephrine, potassium phosphate, dopamine, magnesium sulphate, and potassium phosphate sodium chloride in one bag.
My pulse looks good, my blood pressure is good because my meds are keeping it above 90/50. I've seen it drop to 83/48. That's when a nurse runs in and sets the drip to a higher speed.
My mouth is full of canker feeling sores and to be able to eat anything or swallow any pills I have to gargle lidocaine. Gross!
I felt so good last night I got a shower! Today I have too many lines and am too tired to get a shower. I am more awake than I was Tuesday, but still tired. I just had my tenth dose of IL-II. Which is where most people make it to. Only two patients in ten years have made it to the 14th dose. It's looking like I will. It just means my body tolerates it better than others.
My mom is bringing my kids in any minute now. Wyatt called me earlier and told me he misses me and loves me. Of course that made me cry. I'm done tomorrow at midnight tomorrow night and will be coming home Saturday or Sunday as long as my blood pressure is under control

Wed night through Thurs Morning

So yesterday I had absolutely no problems! I even had my bro and sis and my bro's family out. Also, Justin showed up. I think they were all amazed at how well I was doing. I was. I didn't think I could have such a good day after having 2 really bad ones. . Last night I was good. I had my eighth dose of IL-II at midnight. I started having insomnia, so they gave me some sleeping pills. At about 4 in the morning, I woke up with nausea, fever, and chills and couldn't sleep. They gave me all kinds of meds again. They said it was the IL-II affecting me. It usually gets to me about 4 hours in. This morning I am feeling pretty good. My lips are bleeding from being so swollen and the sores in my mouth remind me of radiation. Ouch! Also, I have put on 11 pounds of water weight. Yuck! It will come off fairly quickly once I am off this stuff. They'll send me home with a pill to help get rid of it.
Last night Justin showed up with a signed U football from Coach Wittingham that says "Michelle, Wishing you all the best and the Uted are pulling for you. Kyle Wittingham." How awesome is that. He also signed a bunch of posters and gave us 5 hats. How awesome. Heather at Justin's work set it all up, so Thanks Heather!
I am hoping to have a better day again today. I hac my 9th dose of IL-II this morning. Only 2 people in ten years have made it to 14. Most don't make it past ten. The 61 year old guy next to me doing the same treatment who started the same time as me has already had to skip a dose or two. They say it has a lot to do with my age that I am tolerating it so well. I'll write a little later depending on how I am feeling. Thanks

Third day

I'll talk a little about Monday night and yesterday. From what I can remember. On Monday after I posted my new post, I could not stay off the toilet . My stomach was cramping horrendously.
On Tuesday, I was nauseous most of the day. I ended up throwing up a couple times. I finally ate a little, but my kids were here and ate the rest. I was ok because I was still sick.
I've been able to have some visitors which has been nice to help pass the time.
So, today has gone pretty well. I don't remember much about last night. I think I zonked at six and didn't hear or see anything till ten. Justin was supposed to come in, but my parents told him how out of it I was last night. I guess I got a few phone calls and didn't hear them.
So, I can tell that my mind isn't working as well. I have put on 5 pounds of swelling, mostly in my legs, hands and face. Not horribly noticelable. Overall I feel pretty good today, just tired. I am a little surprised how good I am feeling!

Getting a LIttle Cloudy

First Day Down

I got up this morning and was all ready by nine, when they told me to call to see if my room was ready. They had me call back an hour later and then two hours later. They finally ended up calling me around 1:00. My room was ready.
When we got here, I found out my nurse was Becky, who came in and gave me a big hug! It makes it so nice to have a friend up here. She is so sweet and always takes good care of me. She has been my nurse for the last two surgeries. We have been emailing since April.
She's been so helpful and great! Also, my aide from my last two surgeries, Brad was here and stopped by to say hi. How fun!
So, I got to meet Dr. Agarwal a couple hours after being here. Justin came up with me and had the day off. Dr. Agarwal talked to us about what to expect and told me I should start feeling side effects by morning. Some feel it sooner. I got my first dose of IL-II at 6 tonight. I will get a dose every 8 hours as long as I am tolerating it well. They watch my blood pressure very closely. This medicine makes my blood vessels leak fluid and makes my blood pressure drop. I will swell up because of it. As soon as I am done with treatments this will go away very quickly.
I take my last dose on Friday night (I thought it was a 7 day week of treatment, turns out to be 5) and should be feeling good enough to come home Saturday or Sunday.
They warned me that I could be feeling sleeplessness, which I am. I feel kind of wired, even after a shot of Demorol, which I think wore off after a couple hours. They have preordered all kinds of meds for me like sleeping pills, nausea pills, pain pills, fever and chills meds and much more that I can't remember.
So, my first day down and counting down to waking up feeling bad. Till then...

So, last night I was up till one in the morning getting the kids schedules in the computer and printing them out. So much to do! I feel like I am going crazy trying to remember everything. I'm sure between Justin, Devon, my mom and mother in law and neighbors everything will go really well. This morning I put together some meals and put them in the freezer for this week. I am just trying to get all the last minute stuff done. It's a bit overwhelming and at the same time, I am trying to just relax and enjoy my kids. I am trying to figure out what I'll actually be using in the hospital, if I'll even feel up to showering or getting dressed or if I'll be a bump on a log all week.
I am taking the laptop with me in case it works and I can update at the hospital. My phone if I remember correctly in the hospital only dials local numbers. So, anyone with Utah county numbers will have to call Justin if they want to get the number to reach me.
I am getting pretty nervous. I wish I knew for sure how I will be feeling, how soon into tomorrow I will be feeling it, and how bad it's gonna get. It's this or the alternative. That won't happen. I am beating this thing no matter what I have to go through!
I am grateful for all the prayers and well wishes from everyone! Your support helps so much. I think one of the most important parts of getting me through this is having a great support system, which I have. I have the most supportive and loving family and friends. It's sad that it takes something like this for all of our good sides to really shine. In Conference yesterday as Dieter Uchdorf (sp?) spoke about Hope, he said one thing that hit me like a rock. He said "Never allow despair to overcome your spirit".
I recieved a father's blessing last night for the comfort I truly needed. The words were inspired and just what I needed to hear. Many blessings and promises were made to me. I know my Heavenly Father has sent down angels to be here with me and help me through this!
He is watching over my family as I am away, which gives me the peace to get through. As a mom, my first concern is my kids and husband. I know they will be taken care of and loved as though I were right there with them. Thanks to all who will be helping this week and for the outpouring of offerings I have recieved for help.

Almost a regular day

So, I did my pulmonary test up at Huntsman today. It seemed to go really well, except for the part that I can't blow air out past like ten seconds. Not sure why, but that shouldn't affect anything. I am still scheduled to go in on Monday. I will call Monday morning to get my room number and a time to show up. It will most likely be between 10-12.
I've talked to Justin and he will either bring the laptop up to me at Huntsman, depending on how I'm feeling, or I will show him how to post new blogs for me.
That way I can still keep everyone updated without a ton of phone calls. That gets very overwhelming for him. Those who will try to call me might get Devon (my cousin that lives with us) because I will be giving her my phone for the week. It won't get reception in the hospital anyway. I will most likely post my room number so you can call me if you want to. I'll only do that if I am up to taking phone calls.
For now I am just trying to figure out schedules with the kids. I am hoping I feel well rested when I come home. I doubt it, but you can always hope right?

Finalized Plans

So, today was about the craziest day ever! It all started with a phone call from my nurse LeAnne who is Dr. Akereley's nurse. She set up for me to get my heart test done at the new IMC hospital on 5300 south. So I got on the phone with my new insurance which had changed to make sure I am covered at the IMC and Huntsman. I am so glad I called because they had to enroll me in their cancer program so I'll be covered at Huntsman. Otherwise they would not cover me there.
Then I got another call from LeAnne asking if I can go up to Huntsman right after my heart test and get an IV and then a central line put in (goes from the vein next to my carotid artery by my clavicle and a catheter goes straight to my heart and will disperse the medicine from there). So, I then had to arrange Brooklyn a ride home from school, get packed for the day with the boys and pick up my mom because they told me they would sedate me for the central line.
So, I am for sure going in the hospital on Monday the 6th, so really quick. Which is why I have to hurry and get all this testing done. The reason they did the central line today and I have it in over the weekend is because they were completely booked and couldn't fit me in to get it done. These are made to stay in long term so no problems keeping it in over the weekend.
I will be doing the pulmonary test on my lungs tomorrow up at Huntsman.
So, today was nuts and on top of it all, Colton wasn't feeling well. I made it to all the appointments on time. The heart test was on a treadmill and when I was done they said everything looked normal, but they would let my doc know my results. The IV went like a normal IV would. When I went to get the central line put in, they found out that I had eaten (I didn't know I was supposed to fast till after I ate a banana this morning) within six hours of being there. So I couldn't get sedation for the prodedure. Ouch is all I can say. They used lidocane shots which was the worst part of the whole thing. After that and when the Fentinyl (sp?)(pain killer) kicked in , I was ok. As soon as I got to my mom's, it started bleeding and I had to put pressure on it. It still hurts!
So, tonight we went to the Utah vs Oregon State game. It was soooo much fun and such a stress reliever to an exhausting day.
Let's just say I am glad today is over and I can finally go to bed (it's 12:40 at night right now)

When is a good question

So, as you can see we had a busy weekend with Wyatt's birthday, but it was so much fun! I was shocked that as an adult I could actually have a good time at Chuck e cheese.
So, today was the big day with Dr. Akereley up at Huntsman. I went up early and did a blood draw that he had requested me to do. When we talked to him about the decision I made for my treatment, he was all for whatever I wanted to do. He went over the cons and pros again, Justin was there this time and wanted to hear it briefly, of all the treatment options. I told him I am pretty set on doing the Interlukin II in the hospital. He agreed that this is a good option for me as I am young and strong. The only problem is that he's not the doctor in charge of this particular treatment. So, I should get a call tomorrow and set up an appointment with Dr. Agarwal-Internal Medicine. He specializes mostly in kidney, prostate, bladder and then head and neck cancer. He will be the one to administer the Interlukin. To qualify for this treatment I will need to do a stress test on my heart and lungs and make sure they are strong enought to endure this. It will be done on a treadmill. That should be pretty easy for me considering I am on the treadmill or exercising 4-5 days a week. Makes me really glad I've been doing that cuz now I won't have to stress over passing that.
I should hear something tomorrow from Dr. Agarwal's nurse and hopefully get that set up Thursday or Friday and if we can get things done quickly enough, I could possibly be in the hospital Monday. If not, it could be sometime in the next two weeks. I'll keep that updated as I know more.
As far as treatment goes, I have been corresponding with my nurse I've had up at Huntsman in the hospital side, Becky. She works in the Special Care Unit (where I would be) and sees patients who are undergoing Interlukin II. I am thankful for her insight on what I can expect. She told me I'll feel like I have a pretty bad case of the flu including fever, chills, aches, diarrhea, nausea. Dr. Akereley told me to expect to be very tired and my skin will turn a reddish hue.
Becky also said that they check 2-3 times a day to see how I am feeling and to administer more Interlukin or not depending on how I am tolerating it or if I need to recover a little. She said that I will have a heart monitor and lots of IV tubing that will drive me crazy!
I am not sure if I will be up for visitors or not. We'll have to wait and see. I should be in the hospital for 7-10 days depending on how long it takes me to recoop after they pull the plug on the drug. Dr. Akerely says I will pretty much have to be dancing to go home. Basically be able to stand up and not get dizzy and be able to take care of all my normal functions.
That's all I know for now. I'll post as soon as I know more.
Thanks again for all the words of encouragement and love from everyone!

Septemberness, Wyatt's 4th Birthday

I thought this was so funny. He was scared of this present because Tiffany, my neighbor put a spider web and spider rings on it!

He loves balloons! They drive me nuts, but I loved them as a kid too.
Brooklyn had to steal the spotlight! There's Jessica and Grant in the back , Bradley and Devon on the couch and Adele and Grant in the back.
We let him open a gift before everyone got there. He wouldn't stop asking when he could open one. He got this football and he and Brooklyn loved playing with daddy.
Wyatt ended up not wanting to open this card, but it ended up being one of his favorite gifts. It has the Superman Theme music when he opens it!

Wyatt's Dancing!

Here's a pic of Wyatt's boo boo I talked about in an earlier blog.

A few weeks ago I caught Wyatt dancing in Brooklyn's room to a Crazy Frog cd. Here's the video