It's me!!

I'm back! Finally I guess. It's been a very long and frustrating time healing. I haven't read through what Justin has written so I have no idea how updated or what was written, so I guess this is just my point of view.
Since I've been home, I've been out of bed maybe a total of 5-7 hours. It is so hard to move out of the most comfortable position for my back, which is lots of pillows propping me up, and then a couple under my knees. I sleep and pretty much eat this way. I am getting stronger everyday though. I don't have to have help everytime I need to get out of bed now. I feel like I don't need to sleep quite as much either.
It has been nice for the kids to have me home and at least here to listen to them. They seem extra emotional and kind of on a roller coaster since I've been home. I guess that's to be expected. I feel horrible every time Colton wants me to hold him and I can't, but at least I am here with him, right? Wyatt is so hyper and cries easily, and Brooklyn is loving cuddling up to me in bed and reading to me. I'm sure they will all alternate on who's the cuddliest when.
The pain has been the hardest part for me to deal with. I think we are finally figuring it out and getting it under control. My family Dr., who is close to home, has agreed to help figure out my blood levels for my blood clots has also offered to help in anything I need, especially with the pain. I go to him every other day and draw blood to see where my levels are and we adjust the dose of the blood thinners accordingly. I could be on these medications for up to 6 months.
Today I went up to Huntsman to meet with my Radiation oncologist to set up treatment planning, again. I got one new tattoo, which gives me a total of 7 radiation tattoos. Luckily they look like tiny little freckles, which blend in with all the freckles I have anyway. They gave me a sucker with phentinyl (sp?) in it to help with the pain of lying on my back for the planning. They took one CT scan. I guess that was all they had to do. We will be using a mold that we made 4 weeks ago, thank goodness. I didn't want to have to make a new one.
It was a long and tiring day out for me. Tomorrow I'm going back up to Huntsman for a PET/CT scan for Dr. Akerely, my treatment Dr. I meet with him next week to go over it and see where, if anywhere there is cancer and what to do next, other than the radaition, if anything.
So, overall it is so so good to be home, even though this surgery had so many complications and it was a bit frustrating overall, I know it was for the best, and we got a huge tumor out of my back! That's news to celebrate, right? I think so! Give me a few weeks and I might feel up to celebrating. Thanks to everyone for all you love and support, your thoughts and prayers, your meals and service rendered to me and to my family. I couldn't make it without you.
I also know this has been especially hard on Justin. I think he has been exceptionally wonderful in holding our family together. There are so many to thank and to continue to thank. If I start thinking about all the help I've recieved and still recieving, it gets overwhelmingly emotional for me. My mom has been here most days out of the week, working tirelessly with my kids and not a complaint ever heard, my mother in law rearranging her schedule at work to be here when I need her, again with no complaints, just happy to help. My dad for being at the hospital 15 days out of 16, stressing his heart out for his little girl, just wishing he could switch places with me. (oops, I've done it, I'm officially crying now). And for Devon, for working a full time job and then being here with the kids everynight, so Justin could come see me, or go to school. Angels among us? I know so. So, thank you. I love you. You all are so wonderful and help give me the strength to continue this fight for my life.