We say goodbye one last time..

I am really going to do my best to stay on top of this blog because I know that is what Michelle would want me to do. As I go forward, please be patient as the posts may be fewer and less often but I can promise that I will try, blogging for me is a fairly new experience..

Last night and today were very special days as we had the opportunity to say goodbye to Michelle one final time. her viewing was yesterday, May 20 at Wing Mortuary in Lehi. There was a tremendous turnout and miraculously, it ended right on time. We thought for sure that we were going to be there into the late hours of the night. Prior ot the viewing, and I would kill myself if I forgot these details, on Tuesday night, Leon, Lori and I had the chance to dress Michelle in her temple robes and do her hair and make up. None of us were really sure how this was going to go and we were all understandably nervous. When we first arrived at the mortuary, she was laying there, on the cold metal table in her temple dress. It was very difficult to see her lifeless body laying there so vulnerable and helpless. I initially got very emotional and fortunately Lori was there to help me cry on her shoulder and gain my composure. When we all had a few minutes to catch our breath, Quinn from the mortuary helped us get things going. We got her dressed with little discussion and than were able to move onto her makeup and hair. This is where it got exciting..
We aren't sure what happened exactly but the three of us just started talking about some of the memories of Michelle but as we started her makeup, we couldn't help but start laughing as we could only imagine Michelle watching us from on high and just laughing at the effort we were making to try to do her justice. She was always so beautiful and she had such a way of making herself up daily that made her so stunning. I have never done make up anywhere, on anyone, EVER!! But I took the reigns and made it happen. It involved several q-tips, cotton balls and tissues but somehow or another, we did her justice. I later found out that concealer and lipstick are not the same thing even though the manufacturer insists on putting them in identical containers. I did my best, I think she would appreciate it, regardless of how good or bad we feel we did. It gave us an opportunity to laugh and joke about her for a few minutes privately together which the three of us really enjoyed.
Her viewing went very well. Great turnout, many tears and lasting, loving tributes. It was very fiiting for her, being the angel that she was and is to have so many visitors and loved one's there to pay their respects.
This morning was the funeral. I wasn't lloking forward to speaking as up until this morning I had nothing prepared to say. I trusted that she would be right there beside me to guide me and she for sure was. She opened my mind to some great memories as soon as I got up this morning. I immediately upon getting out of the shower grabbed a pen as I didn't want to forget anything that she was whispering in my ear. The funeral was set up very nicely and again we had many visitors come through prior to the service to not only pay Michelle their respects but to also show me their love and support which I greatly appreciated. The hardest part by far since her passing was when we had to close the casket one last time after veiling her face. It was hard to know that I will not see her beautiful face again other than in pictures until we meet in heaven. The service was beautiful. Leon, Jackie and I all did very well and I really feel that she was honored as she should have been. Natalie Griffith and Christine Ivie sang a beautiful rendition of Nearer My God To Thee and Tyler played Ashokan Farewell on the Piano. We did our best to make it light, funny, but at the same time touching and with perspective. She had touched the lives of so many for so long. It was nice to see the turnout, the room was packed. I was honored to be able to speak about the many fun times that we had together and about her little quirks like bunco and her adorable crooked smile forced on her by numerous surgeries. She was loved by so many ad will obviously never be forgotten.
I have greatly appreciated the kind words spoken of her and also the thoughts and well wishes that have been directed to me through all of this. I was married to a truly amazing woman. My kids were blessed with the best mother in the world, and I know her parents could not possibly be prouder of the daughter that they did such a good job bringing up. Thank you to all the attended both physically and in spirit. Thank you to all that donated to my children and her foundation as well. My family is so well taken care of, we are so blessed to live where we live and to have so many amazing people surrounding us. I know there is a reason we are living here at this time. We truly were guided here by powers on high and I could not be happier than I am right now. I am excited for what lies ahead. I know it will be difficult and I know that Michelle will be right there beside me in all that I do. I expect her to mess with me from time to time as she did here while she was alive and I welcome it. As the Alan Jackson song "Sissy's Song" states, "Don't worry 'bout me", I know Michelle is in the loving arms of so many that have gone before her, she loved and was loved by so many, thank you for everything that everyone has done. Love to all!