Scary night and sign of things to come...by Justin

I know it's been a little while and several people have asked why I haven't posted anything. There really hasn't been anything to add, until last night. At roughly 10:15 we were just starting to settle down for the night. Michelle was having a difficult time breathing all day yesterday. Although her oxygen saturation was high, between 94-100 all day, she just can't get on top of being short of breath. She was brushing her teeth and than tried to catch her breath on the edge of the baththub. I noticed that she was starting to drift in and out so I got her into bed. Once she was in bed, I checked her oxygen saturation and it was 100, perfect. I got myself situated and into bed when Michelle reminded me that we hadn't flushed her lines yet. I got her saline and heperin taken care of and when I was clearing her second line she started to get a little shaky and seemed to be falling forward towards me. I laid her down and threw everything away and when I came back to bed, she was not responsive. I checked her saturation again and it was at 81 (anything below 90 is not good). She continued to be non-responsive for a couple more minutes, I turned her air up, checked to make sure her oxygen hose was clear, everything I could think of but her saturation continued to drop. By the time I called the nurse, it was as low as 47. knowing that Michelle has a DNR in place, I was torn between trying to do all I could to revive her or simply hold her hand and let her go peacefully.
I know what is eventually going to happen and I know there is nothing anyone can do to change it but this just came up all too fast. I called a neighbor friend who happened to be on duty last night with Saratoga PD, he came out and helped me assess her. He took her hand and asked if she wanted medical attention, she squeezed his hand but says now that she didn't knowingly do that. Medical attention arrived but I made sure that they understood that she would not be taken from the house and that she didn't want any heroic measures. After my friend Jared arrived, she started to come around on her own. Her saturation got better and better and she regained consciousness.
Last night was an experience that I know all too well will repeat itself and next time I will do what I know is right. There is more to what happened last night with seemingly all of Utah county police and medical in the front yard and in the house but the details are not important. I did hold Michelle's hand last night and told her how much I love her and to go if she felt like it was the right time. I don't know if this was supposed to be some sort of drill but at least I will be better prepared for whatever comes at me next time. She slept pretty well last night, her oxygen saturation has been in the mid 90's with one small dip this morning to 87 for a few seconds.
This obviously can't be a good sign and I know in my heart that she doesn't have much time left. I have to make a decision to close the door to visitors until she is gone or shows some improvement. It takes too much out of her to entertain people even though I know she likes the attention. I'm going to do my best to keep her in bed as much as possible. She is out of energy simply getting up to go to the couch.
If you haven't had the chance to visit and still want to, please call or text me and I'll try to arrange for it but I can't make any promises. Understand though as well that last time we were at a "critical" point, I got 367 text messages in one day. It gets overwhelming. There will be a time to properly pay your respect, but be mindful and respectful knowing that although your well wishes are personal, it gets very overwhelming coming from everyone that we know. At this point it's vital that we get as much uninterrupted time together with the kids. If I do not respond to your message it isn't personal, I just don't have time to give everyone an individual update on what's going on. I'll be sure to update again when we have any new events transpire.