Back from Vegas, back to real life

I had a nice little three day rereat to Las Vegas for work Wed-Friday. It really was a great deal down there, they sent us down by air, kept us at the New York New York on the strip and really didn't work us too hard at all. We got in fairly early on Wednesday and had some time to kill before having a cocktail party (we drank Coke and Fresca of course) and than we had a dinner with some awards and a speaker before getting turned loose. Thursday was pretty relaxed with meetings until 3:00 and than the whole day off. Thursday night was a blast. We went to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory at Caesars befire running to the Belagio to see "O" by Cirque Du Soleil. Absolutely unbelievable. I can't imagine where they find the people to do the stuff that the show requires. If you get a chance, go check it out!! After that, we went out to the Stratosphere to take on the sky rides. Since most of us had done the Big Shot we decided to do two of the other rides. I forget the name of both of them, but holy crap. I wish I would have had a change of pants! Friday was a couple of short meetings and than the flight home. It was nice to wake up to my kids this morning after the days without them.
Today was a great day with the kids. A friend of ours set up for the kids to meet and ride a couple of horses up in Bell Canyon. The family was so sweet, the horses were so gentle and the kids had an amazing experience. One very special experience was shortly after we got there, a huge yellow monarch butterfly came out of nowhere and almost "kissed" Wyatt on the nose before circling Brooklyn's head twice and than taking off. The lady that owner the horses said in fourteen years she had never seen anything like that at her place, we all looked at each other and all of us agreed that it was likely Michelle that was responsible and in her own little way, dropping by to say hello and I love you to the kids. After playing with the animals for a little while, I took the two oldest to Toys R Us with the gift card that my Marine buddy Joey put together with his shop. The kids had a ball picking virtually everything they wanted, Christmas may get cancelled this year!! :)
After being away for a couple of days, coming home to the house again made me reflect back on Michelle most of the day. It is still hard to believe that she is gone. It just doesn't seem real. It's very difficult to deal with. I hate going to bed alone and I hate looking around the room forgetting momentarily that she isn't there anymore. It is so hard but I know she is with us always and that with time it will get easier. I see her in the face of all three of my beautiful kids, I see her in the sunrise and set, I feel her everywhere I go. We all miss her but knowing that we will see her again one day makes it easier. Our nine year anniversary would have been June 1.
I am anxious and aprehensive about the future. I know that I will eventually move on and I pray that all will be supportive of whenever I make the decision to do so. My kids and I have a busy summer ahead. We are trying to manage Dad+3, I feel vastly outnumbered but we are getting it figured out. Broooklyn and Wyatt are tremendous helpers for Daddy in dealing with Colton. As he gets more mobile, he gets more difficult to control.